Let’s Talk About Love
““We are never so vulnerable as when we love.” ”
Welcome to February. Santa Claus is long gone, and by now many of us have broken most of our New Year’s resolutions. Don’t worry, though, because here comes Cupid to save the day! Could Valentine’s Day be a welcome distraction from those spending reminders and our Amazon hangover? After all, who can resist pretty hearts, rainbows, puppy dogs, and declarations of love and commitment through greeting cards? Those things and perhaps other gifts will surely help lift your spirits, deepen and renew the love and commitment for your partner or spouse, right? As they say in those special tv product infomercials, “But wait…”
We are convinced that the more we give, the more the other person will feel loved by us; moreover, we will feel good about ourselves. This vulnerability is why Valentine’s Day is Hallmark’s and See’s Candies’ favorite and most profitable holiday. Does demonstrating your love for another have to be a financial strain? What can we do for one another that will accomplish our goals for a deeper connection that won’t break the bank? I’d like to suggest that you think outside the box this year and arrange an experience that will tap into all of your senses, not just eating and smelling your gifts via flowers, perfumes, and chocolates.
“I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.”
A few birthdays ago, my wife Susanne surprised me with Jennifer Lopez concert tickets. This gift was a gesture that warmed my heart because it showed how well she knew me - which to me, translates to how much she loves me. She knows I’m a music junkie with a very eclectic taste. I have a ridiculous crush on J-Lo (sorry A-Rod), and I love being in the presence of quality performers of all kinds. Being moved, inspired, and entertained by a group or individual is the best gift anyone can give me. Susanne knew that, as well as the chemistry that J-Lo and I have notwithstanding (just kidding). This concert became a special bonding experience we still talk about today.
I invite you to adopt a similar mindset this Valentine’s Day. In lieu of handing a gift, give each other a gift of shared experience - an investment in something that will stimulate all of your senses, physically move you, and perhaps feed your soul. Find it and experience it together, and especially make time to talk about it afterwards.
In the process, see what you may discover about each other that you didn’t know before. Maybe this experience will become a new tradition to deepen your relationship. Shared experiences that are created together can be rituals of connection that punctuate a beautiful relationship over time.
Ok, here are some diverse ideas to get you started with your own bonding experience. As you will note, some will cost you nothing, and some have to do with giving back.
I wish you and your loved one a fun adventure, and of course a Happy Valentine’s Day.
Paso Robles light exhibit: https://www.latimes.com/travel/story/2019-12-10/artist-bruce-munros-dazzling-field-of-light-in-paso-robles-extended-through-june?fbclid=IwAR1gB93ukpxynXBhn_zI_WlT_Hws48eoYWlqe5pcGcc658BGxqA7T-qpJrI
LA Chocolate Tasting Tour: https://www.xperiencedays.com/Chocolate_Tours_Los_Angeles_California_Culver_City.html
Super speedway race car ride along: https://www.xperiencedays.com/Super_Speedway_Ride_Along.html
Stay at home RomCom marathon
Bring some flowers to a local nursing home (call first & ask if ok)
Volunteer at a shelter or soup kitchen together
Take a shelter dog for a walk or a sleepover (Pasadena Humane) https://pasadenahumane.org/in-the-news/new-foster-sleepover-opportunity/